More Popular Quotes

DSCN0134I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Dennis Wholey

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Unknown

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend’s houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Matt Groening

I was at a wedding recently and the DJ asked, “All the married women please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was crushed to death !

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants.   Today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henry Youngman

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Don’t join dangerous cults! Practice safe sects.
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